bodily functions

remember how i told the gremlin that she could put the floats on her ankles and walk on the water like jesus, and that if she didn't brush her hair it would grow back inward and erode her brain? last night's dream reminded me of how i do that shit to my own self too: ever since my high school bio teacher (big-up miss marchak) explained that when you hear/feel your stomach growling it means your stomach acids are digesting your stomach lining so you should really eat and give it food to digest instead of itself, every time my stomach grumbles i'm deliciously tortured by imagining my stomach digesting itself and eventually somehow turning my whole body inside-out as it digests all of me and becomes the stomach that ate its person!
plus, i have to pee constantly. already- it's apparently winter. in october.
lame.
walk good.