year of the...

...horse.
i don't know what the chinese are saying, but for me, it's clearly the year of the horse. equus has been followed by multiple recent horse-related items (too small and multitudinous to mention) everywhere i look. even @ the movies, flicka's opening soon (no, there is absolutely no reason for me to see it; i read the book- lame). and i feel like i been talking a lot about my near-nudity for this show (conversations, not blog) but i'm not nervous about equus requiring me to get mostly-naked in front of people. i'm ok with my body, and distinctly unshy- i mean, i'm the girl who walked out into the livingroom where the boy roommates were playing playstation, in her thong so she could tell them to take a long, hard look and get used to it and even bored with it, so that she could then be free to stroll around her apartment in just panties. i got them so used to it, that my boobs were no longer the automatic 1st choice over playstation, because they knew the boobs'd always be there. i grew up in a naked house and have maintained one of my own ever since leaving my parents. every roomie until i could afford to live alone had to deal, and even after marrying grims, there are some friends we see @ our home often enough that i've made them deal with the fact that i am anti-pants so i can be comfortable @ home. if you ever come by me, pants are optional. what i'm actually very worried about is from now through tech and the rest of the equus run, being on top of waxing, trimming, pristine and unholey underwear, always bathing and remembering "chick stuff" like i'm getting laid even when i'm not, tampon strings, beardburn, very chapped lips (thank god for the recently discovered cocoa lip balm) and the big question: will friends of mine be able to sit through it? i know it can be uncomfortable to see a show where someone you know well gets naked, mostly because the average person can't look @ the now-forever-naked friend the same way ever again. especially if there was a stray tampon string in evidence. my vanity's also concerned about what level of undressed looks best on my body type, because i firmly believe that i'm best completely dressed or completely naked (quote: sweet trini is at her most charming when she's naked). i'm hoping that at least they won't have me end up in anything that cuts me right @ the waist- that's very unattractive on me, and once we get undressed, there's a lot of scene left to be played in that state. right now i'm getting down to bra+panties but the director may still change her mind, since it's supposed to look like we could actually be having sex, and we haven't talked about how feasible that is with panties on.

...drama.
there's been more than enough of it in my life lately, especially since i don't do drama, as a rule. but just as i thought things were well on their way to repair, this weekend while i was @ shakespeare rehearsal, our theatre where grims is also the fulltime production manager and technical director, caught on fire. this theatre (an elizabethan stage modeled after the globe in london where shakespeare really was) also happens to be attached to the largest repository of original shakespearean shit in the world. brits come here to d.c. to study and caress all the 1st folios. the vault under the building is bigger than the building itself, and in 5years steady freelancing with them, i still don't know the vast contents of the secret, supersecured underground stash. the fire was relatively small and contained, and things could be much worse, but our theatre's trashed. it was tragic- thick smoke still choking the air when i tried to high-step across the floor covered in water (coupla inches deep) and water dripping off the stage, the set, every column and balcony edge- i thought the whole building from lobby to backstage wall could make a brilliant set for macbeth or hamlet or richard iii, instead of a theatre where a midsummer night's dream was supposed to be teching as i write. that didn't make me feel better, though. i feel awful for grims because he has to deal with the cleanup, fallout and rescheduling of the show, and i'm totally depressed because even though i was just a freelancer, that theatre's been a 2nd home for years.

i feel like i should explain that the equus part of this post was written before the fire, and i'm sorry if it was jarring. i feel incapable of writing an fff this week but big-up jj for always being there. i don't really have anything else to say.
walk good.