briefs

while editing my strip-club post to spell salma hayek's name correctly, i discovered that she+i have the same birthday. and while i'm sure you can google the alluring salma yourself, the thought made me want to provide the opportunity to appreciate another beauty (nb: the first 4 pictures aren't my favourites so i sincerely suggest that you scroll down and see them all; no nudity)- i'm torn between wanting her and wanting to be her. she's my current inspiration to regain my currently-hibernating former body.*

australia has the widest raisin-esque selection i've ever seen in a grocery. i expect to see that kinda thing in a gourmet food store, but in oz, every small grocery has such an array of different types. you can buy boxes of sultanas the way you'd buy raisins for a packed lunch, there's types of raisins i've never heard of, currants, everything that makes you think of a raisin. i loved it- it was like the inuit having 12 different words for snow.
however, australia had the poorest quality toilet paper i ever experienced, and in every full bathroom we saw that had a tub, the bathtub and shower stall were 2 separate units, usually not even abutting each other. very weird, and it seems, inefficient.
they also had a serious fly problem while we were there, which we were told had never happened before- i grew to seriously appreciate why a ponytail is thusly named, as i used mine liberally in an attempt to keep the swarms of flies away when we were out because flies (and roaches+rats) gross me out. but now i'm really curious to see if they do any research and find out what brought on the 4th plague in oz.

i know it may seem horrible, but sometimes i wish very rich people would get sick more often, so that they'd help fund research more often.

to confirm that i'm a horrible person, here my new favourite joke:
what's the opposite of christopher reeves?

christopher walken.

i may have said this before, but: i've always loved the concept of parallel universes, but the phrase seems a little oxymoronic- if they are multiple (as the word 'parallel' implies) i feel like we should consider the multiverse.

another possible repeat-thought: why is literature obsessed with dancing bears?

now that i've admitted i'm a horrible person: when we were young, and the gremlin went through a phase of not wanting her hair combed, i told her that if she didn't brush her hair religiously, 3 times a day, it would stop growing outward and would start to recede through her skin and into her skull, and once her roots reached back into her brain cavity they would keep growing in and erode her brain until it was nothing but dust that would fall out her ears while she slept, then with no brain left and only recessed hair, her head would deflate.
i also told zed that if she put her arm-band floats on her ankles instead she could walk on the water like jesus. she believed me, and stepped off the edge of the pool so trustingly that when she flipped upside-down i was too intrigued by her faith to realise she was about to be drowning.
a parent helped her out.
she's cool now.
you may be able to tell that until we grew up and she got cool, i'd really wanted a dog, not a sibling. now i realise a dog wouldn'ta been nearly as much fun.

walk good.

*the relevant portion of this post has been excerpted and added to the abovementioned+linked "strip-club post", so you may see some of this post elsewhere on this blog.