egotrip

so immediately below is something i wrote and didn't post last friday night but my ego wouldn't let me let it go. so here it is, sloppy and irrelevant:
don't know how i manage to find myself even slightly thinking there might be a warm chance in the tight cold asshole of winter that my bathroom could be returned to me tomorrow, in the paid-down-on condition i requested, just in time for me to feverishly, sweatily-in-spite-of-the-cold-windows-closed-evening-into-night finish scrubbing it with my life just in time to make it down to crossroads to see machel and wine until i fall down in a coil on the floor.
but somehow, i have this stubborn twitch of hope.
so when next i blog i will be utterly despondent.
it's been 10 "working" days, and remember, this is the barely-42-square-feet bathroom, costing more than $100 per square foot to remodel.

there is a connection. that old post was about my ego, which is exactly what makes me leave the above, week-late statement intact.
moving on to the rest of my self-involvement, also several days behind the times:
my ego asserts itself again. we been begging alyfromcali to move back here for-ev-ah. she's finally doing it, coming here this weekend (for a trial bath in our unique bathroom and some job+apartment interviews), and it made me realise that me+grims been saying since we bought this house 3years ago, that in 5years, we out. now it's only 2years left. i know she's coming to be close to other people (and theatres) besides me, but i have ego, therefore i am- thus i guilt.

and day-before-yesterday:
i wade through puddles with impunity until stopped by the tragic sight of gummi worms carelessly spilled across the pavement.

now that i've got that outta my system, i can post what's on my mind currently.
this is the first time i've felt like i had downtime in too long.
can't wait for sunday, and i'm worried that the bathroom dudes coming to "finish" tomorrow will somehow ruin it.
i haven't read anybody's blog in long, including the last flash fiction entries (including mine) which makes me sad but simultaneously provides anticipatory thrill. i hope i can dig in on sunday, when i'll have 2weeks of reading. maybe i'll even manage an entry for the upcoming one, if the contractors find their brains soon enough to save my 1-day weekend.
zed learned to knit. i getting a hat with ear flaps that'll tie under my chin and a matching scarf. i lost both my scarves last winter, a sure sign that i should never live with that evil season- 2 more. can't wait for it to be over.
we saw the opening of rorschach's beard of avon with alyfromcali and i really had a good time and randy gave us our australia tickets.
i met author ernest gaines this week @ the radio station and that was cool, except for a vague feeling that the segment (which i prepped) was hijacked by the guest host, resulting in too much time spent on a lesson before dying which might be the favourite, but is kinda talked out at this point. i guess i'm officially invested in this work.
oh well.
i miss trinidad, even with tsunami-esque waves washing 'way maracas and bake+shark, and bombs in st.james. it's cold where i am and i don't like it.
i just tried something called 'cricket cola' and i love it. and easy-squeeze-no-drip bottles (caramel sauce+ketchup).
alyfromcali got a job offer, found an apartment she likes, gave her 2weeks notice, and moves back to dc in 3weeks.
i'm tired.
chrissy, i haven't forgotten or erased that email. i'll be back.
walk good.

ps: if anybody managed to read this post before i fixed the link fuckup and reinserted the appropriate text, i apologise. it's better now.