birthday: best time for existential panic, no?

but 1st: anonymous commenter on my previous post, wham dread? you must know me because the tiny handful who bother coming here do so because they do, plus, you nail my musical tastes; i love the track and wanna know who to thank and you not 1 of the 2 i assumed you'd be, so...big question mark!? talk to the i, nah...
that said, is apparently my birthday. seems the appropriate moment to try+archive the ongoing noise in my head that is my aforementioned constant state of existential terror, no? i say so. so here we go...
txt 1st: evolutionary argument against reality...then someting tha'd usually drive me bananas: videos, then closing with more reading...but this is the order that make sense. and small disclaimer: 1st 2 (very short) videos are technically covered in the following trilogy, but use examples not in the others that i wanted to archive, too; worth watching all, in order, none that long...





not quite the same, but for me, related concepts, identity+communication:

and finally, also related (for me, anyway): what cringing at your own voice says about you; not that i didn' already know the biology, but because this read brings self-awareness to the equation with identity+communication, plus, relief...i can kinna let go of my years of voiceover anxiety...kinna...
so. is my bday. now i going and wine low...
walk good.