pity party
i find myself frustrated by how dependent writing is on my state of mind. my mind is turbulent, paranoid, unsettled, overly analytic, often strange, questions everything and trusts nothing...and thus sometimes unproductive. effectively off.
i aspire to diligence. to be a writer one must write. always. everyday. and i want to. write. love words. but i spend the majority of too many days with finger on backspace eradicating as fast as i spew words lacking connectivity, lacking depth. i like playing with words, but what do i say? what is closest to my heart is hardest to write, to utter...i wear the warriorwoman face to deal with the world but my written word is naked.
i fear the solidification of my unkempt thoughts and what they reveal of my soft places...
walk good.
i hate her expression but the work strong; impressive ability+agility...walk good.
uncrushable crushes
been meaning to big-up astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson (director of the hayden planetarium) for brilliantly rounding out the shortlist of my most endearing+enduring crushes [jj, jon stewart, ki-toy+salma] with his gorgeous mind: "...the problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. the most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. for me, i am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than i knew yesterday. and lessen the suffering of others. you’d be surprised how far that gets you..."
he's an intelligent, funny, charming, articulate, engaging, adorable science-nerd plus an award-winning dancer- how can you resist the wonderful? walk good.
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