Friday, June 20, 2008

askin' answers- school for men

finally have regular internet access and already wukkin too hard to blog as often as i'd like. being home in sweet trini is something i been wanting to write about, but the archivist in me must deal with something simmering on the back burner too long, before i move forward.
months ago- ok, just over a year ago- actually, lewwe do the trini ting and say "the other day", angel asked the school for men: "...as a single woman. its something i've experienced a couple of times...i meet a man i haven't met before. he seems interesting. he's great conversation. he's cute. he pays me some attention. he's friendly and warm. when we part company he hints he may want to see me again. i understand men not calling the next day and stuff like that- that's not what bugs me. its that nothing happens... at all.why is this?" when i requested clarification about nothing happening, she added, "...basically, he hints he's interested- but never gets around to asking for the digits..."
i did the research but kept wanting a more international response and thus held off on posting, with intentions of further research. but plenty wuk+life and the international moving process sidetracked me, so now i figure i should just give what i have (especially since it seems the happy angel doesn't need this answer anymore) and trust that any readers with opinions will add pertinent information.
so, word is (with requested disclaimer that this comes from a place of complete honesty, with no offence intended): several reasons for what angel described happening, including beer googles wearing off, or conversely being too drunk to think of acquiring digits (or drunkenly getting+losing them), intentions of getting digits during flirtation but circumstances getting in the way (not seeing the person again before leaving, pardners-as-distraction, meeting someone else the same night, etc.), pretending to show interest because it's easier than rejecting someone he knows is perfectly cool but just isn't into, shyness+nervousness and fear of rejection.
there was advice offered that if dude never gets around to asking for digits but shows much interest, perhaps one should step up and offer- "...us guys like you assertive types. nothing wrong with coming on a little strong." it was also suggested that one consider giving/offering/asking for digits knowing there's always a chance of no callback although interest was shown- it's as ok for her to give/offer/ask as for him, and equally possible that rejection may occur.
it'd be irresponsible for me to not point out that, having never been, i realise it may not be true in south africa that female assertiveness enables the process, plus we should all remember that mobiles make it easier to (un)intentionally force digits on someone who didn't plan to ask (maybe just playing along) so rejection-potential should always be considered to alleviate disappointment if digits shared are never dialled.
even if our angel doesn't need this anymore, i figure it might answer for somebody else, and i promise i won't be so long with answers in future. hoping to provide regularly scheduled programming...sooncome...
walk good.

2 Comments:

Blogger crazyfool said...

i prefer the equal opportunity dating scene, get my number or ask me out if you're interested and believe that if i'm interested, i'll probably do the same. talk soon. much love.

5:29 pm  
Blogger angel said...

well, like you said i am ecstatically happy now and don't "need" it... but it made for interesting reading anyway!
turns out the dude i was talking about was awesome and funny and smart when sober- but a complete wanker when he'd had a couple of beers and had no drinking brakes either! very sad... but just as well then i spose.
:D
glad you're back trini, i missed you!

6:52 am  

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