Wednesday, January 23, 2008

they say you can never go home again...

…but then i wouldn’t be myself if i believed that “they” know better. thus far i’ve done and continue to do much that “they” claimed wasn’t feasible…
so we purging+packing+cleaning and trying to sell house+contents and hoping timing works out to get rid of the furniture as we get the house under contract and might still live comfortable until we sign the papers, then fly while the realtor handles the rest. i already had to come to terms with missing carnival, and making this timing work will be another wuk. but say wha’. we coming.
boxes stacking in the basement, things to give away leaving as fast as we can push them out the door, things to sell selling. the book rate no longer exists and we dread the crating of our art; for a control freak like me the thought of the journey that our books and paintings and music will make without me is scary. plus, the fact that they have to start going away when i need them keeping me company, providing the soundtrack and setting for this next life-change brings me to the verge of tears daily, it seems. i only just got my beautiful books out of years-long confinement in boxes in dark corners of basements and under stairs, thrilled to see+use them again.
of course, the questions never stop: why you going? when you leaving? what you going to do? where you going to live? how you sending your shit?
@ this point i just want the d.c. house on the market, thus closer to “under contract” and know we making some $ to put down on the trini one; how we know how much house we’ll afford in trini when we don’t know how much we can convince them to pay us for the one we in now…and yes, we want our own production company, but how hard that might be to get off the ground somewhere i haven’t lived in a decade and he never lived is a whole ‘nother question.
but still. say wha’. we coming.
at least, that’s what i tell myself as i read for the millionth time that successful trini writers don’t actually live in trini and hope that akashic won’t be the 1st+last publisher to ever pick up my work (trinidad noir, august, so excited!) and that the inspiration doesn’t shrivel as soon as i’m finally somewhere i want to be…
to all doubts+fears i can only answer: say wha’. we coming…
walk good.
ps: we didn't make top10 in the pom tea competition, but if you like the ads you can still vote for us, for "most original", "best comedy" or "best pom spirit"...

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