new one

and i'm back.
and yes, there will be regular posts again from here on, not just flash fiction fridays.
but 1st, the latest fff, courtesy the amazing jj, who achieves wonders from purgatory:

“If he doesn’t stop that incessant …”
she stopped, mid-mutter, to consider whether ‘incessant’ meant ‘unstoppable’, or simply ‘not stopping’, since her intended success in stopping him implied the latter, so if the former were the correct meaning, she would’ve misspoken, which she tried not to do, even while planning a murder. even murder’s no excuse for linguistic laziness…
she resumed her contemplation, still bothered by the constant drone emanating from her bed, but comforted by the knowledge that she wouldn’t share it much longer.
there were so many options, but she needed the perfect one, or it would all be worthless in the end – she had no intention of spending any time hiding or in punishment for relieving herself of the snoring buffoon she was temporarily attached to.
things changed so much – she didn’t despise him until he threw the pre-nuptial agreement in the face of her devotion. it’d never occurred to her to take him for his money. she was in love, and it made her blind and deaf to his snoring, pettiness, womanising, and a host of other faults. she took him at face value, and was so thrilled by this smart and discerning man’s interest that she never noticed how truly extravagant their courtship was – she knew they were nice restaurants and fancy parties, but didn’t know enough about the finer things to know how fine it all was – she thought the tiny orange balls on the rice+fish rolls were the salt-equivalent of the coloured sugar crystals that decorated the cheap cookies she bought in the corner store.
when he introduced her to his friends, she thought their names sounded vaguely familiar, but never placed them until portfolios came under discussion, or she saw their pictures in the paper the next day. and even then, she never quite understood what they did, she just knew it was somehow important.
but now she knew better.
she knew that she'd married a pig, and should’ve walked away when he made her sign that contract as a prerequisite to marriage. but in that moment she was so shocked to discover that he didn’t trust her after all, and all she wanted was to earn that from him, as he had hers.
“goddamn that snoring – i can’t hear myself think!”
funny how she could be silent, thinking about anything, but he always provoked such a visceral response that she found herself nearly shouting at him, even when he was asleep in another room.
but she’d made good use of her time since the wedding. she’d become the perfect model wife he wanted – she learned enough to fit in, but not enough to intimidate his friends with her knowledge – at least that was what she allowed him to believe. what she was actually doing was equipping her arsenal. she learned everything she could about his business, his cronies, and their connections, about how his empire worked and any loopholes that might come in handy or need to be closed, and about the biology and chemistry of the human body.
all the time he thought she spent shopping for herself and their home, doing what he charmingly termed “woman crap”, she spent learning how to destroy him, handing her sister the joy of keeping up their household’s appearances – she was better at it anyway – funny how sisters otherwise so similar had such different interests.
“i can’t work with this noise…”
she found herself speaking aloud again, furious at his holding her back, even now, by making it impossible to plan properly amid the ruckus.
“how can any person snore so loud?”
she went to check on him. maybe she could shift him into a different position to decrease the rumbling.
she stepped into the bedroom and saw him splayed out on the bed – of course it never occurred to him to leave her some space to sleep – blankets shoved off to one side, pillows on the floor on the other side.
she picked up the pillow as he snorted and grunted, and rose just in time to see him bury a finger knuckle-deep in his left nostril, then shove the same hand into his underwear.
he was disgusting.
and the snoring was getting louder by the minute.
then, for the first time since the pre-nup, she just acted in response to him – didn’t think about it, about how he’d react, how the henchmen would respond, how it would affect her sorry situation.
she just put the pillow over his face.
it sat there lightly. it was as if she was just trying out the gesture.
without applying force, she just placed it there and looked at the new picture – it was already more appealing – his face was covered, his snoring muffled slightly. and he didn’t move.
she got comfortable with the thought that she finally had the advantage.
she got comfortable with the thought that it could all end, right then.
she began to smile.
then she applied pressure. leaned into it, pushing her weight down, now thinking that the personal trainer had been a good investment after all. he’d probably start struggling any second, but it’d all be over in less than 5 minutes.
then she stopped again.
she pulled the pillow away and let it drop to the floor.
she stepped back from the bed.
“i know i could do it now and you couldn’t stop me. but i want you to know when i do it. i want you to be aware of what’s happening and why, so i can see the expression on your face…”

walk good.