slow burn
ok. so this has been brewing for days now. i thought i wasn't going to mention it here, but again, what the point of the blog, right?
so the other day i was talking to zed (younger sister) on the phone and we had a conversation about our mother and our respective relationships with her. i happened to say something that zed thinks i should discuss with mom but i explained that i choose my battles with our parents, and this is one that i choose not to get into. i'm just not interested in the long, drawn-out heart-to-heart that would ensue. zed is convinced that if i don't bring it up, then mom's behaviour will continue because if she doesn't know it's upsetting, she won't stop. of course, i know this. i don't expect the behaviour to stop without my addressing it directly. i just decided that in this specific case, it's more worthwhile for me to put up with the crap. there have been other times when i had the talk instead. but i think these choices should be mine to make, unless zed notices she's having the same problem- then she can take it up on her own behalf, but it should have nothing to do with me unless i choose to join the fray.
so after our talk i specifically asked her not to bring it up when she had her own talk with mom (this was all precipitated by an earlier conversation they had, that zed thought merited redress) and thought we were done.
then the next time i spoke to zed, she informed me that she'd written this long email to mom about stuff that came up in their previous talk, and mentioned my specific issue as well. i told her that was shitty, and she took it like 'what can i do? it's already done', which it was, but that doesn't make it less shitty. she claims she was actually trying to reread it before sending, to make sure she wanted to say all that stuff, but accidentally rolled her finger over the laptop's mousepad and sent it prematurely. it still shitty.
by the end of the phone call i'd let it go as something i'd handle if and when i reared its ugly head, but i find that every time it crosses my mind i get more and more pissed. i'm still trying to let it go, and truthfully, mom hasn't brought it up so far so it may be moot, but i still get mad every time i remember how it was taken out of my hands.
i just told zed about starting my blog, so she'll probably read this, if i don't break out and call her to cuss first. but i have to say: how can we be tight if i can't trust you to respect my wishes regarding my end of our conversations?
walk good.
posted by sweet trini @ 1:17 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
well sis, this is zed and yes i read it, and i do wish that you had just called me and said what you had to say, because if you think you cant trust me then so be it, but why would you think i would purposely do it, you of all people know that when you on a role esp ranting things are said, and you know what i am fucking pissed @ you right now for not calling me and cussing me as opposed to writing this in your blasted blog, i am truly fucking pissed, so just as you wish to write your feelings in your blog, i ended up writing them in an email to my mother, because i doh know about you but i dont like it when i feel like you are upset about an aspect about my relationship with mom, that you might not have, it is one of those shitty things where we are loved equally but we are sooo different, and so are our relationships, but i felt like shit after that conversation, and to be honest i thought i could have helped it the situ not happen again, but you are right, i should not have taken it out of your hands and trust me i will NEVER get involved again!! so now that i have written this and might not be happy that i did in a few hours, but for now, i feel good causeit is off my chest and i saved money cause if i called it would be a long conversation, stil love you plently and more than you get it, big love, walk good
woman, i can't belive now i have to comment on your comment on my post! i told you i was going to write about what you did in my blog as soon as you told me you did it. then after i did it, i told you i did it, so what are you pissed about? and i told you on the phone i was upset about it. there was no point in calling you again to cuss, because i woulda been saying more of the same, so i used my blog to vent instead of repeating myself to you. and i told you that.
walk good. biglove. e
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