Wednesday, December 27, 2006

usps priority mail is a scam

so yesterday i went to the post office to find out what the fuck was up with my belts+buckle, and the same crazy asshole dude who didn't know what he was doing last time and caused my package to be delivered to my own house the following day and not to its destination in arizona for another 10days in spite of my having paid for priority mail, was working a counter and smiled and waved @ me like we friends! i was so tempted to give him the finger, but realised that his ass wouldn't even know he fucked up my mail, so if i gave him the finger then i'd become the asshole, cussing him for no apparent reason. so for the next few minutes in line i was torn between hoping i'd get called to his counter so i could cuss his black ass blue and upside-down-sideways, and praying i'd get called to the counter of someone competent so i could find out where the fuck my package is.
i thankfully ended up dealing with a very competent and very pleasant lady- one of my post office regulars- who gave me some distressing news: our post office doesn't do seasonal overhire- which means that crazy asshole dude is potentially handling my mail on a regular basis...
anyway, i told her my problem without bursting into tears, she went to talk to a manager, and came back with a piece of paper showing it had just been delivered to the right address in arizona a few hours prior. i got home and checked with the recipient, and it had.
but what i learned from this experience that i'd like to share with you, is that priority mail is bullshit.
when told that my package mailed on december 15th didn't arrive until december 26 in spite of my paying extra for priority mail so it'd get there in the advertised 2-3days, i asked if i could have the cost-difference between priority and regular mail refunded, since usps clearly didn't make my package a priority. i also suggested that it'd be even better if usps kept my extra $ that they hadn't yet earned, and instead allowed the package to be sent back to me from arizona for free. but i was told that the only time one gets $ back when usps fails is if one pays for express mail. and why is this? because express mail is advertised with the word "guarantee"- i.e. they "guarantee" something sent via express mail will arrive by a specified date, so if it doesn't the sender can reclaim what they paid. however, priority mail just says it should arrive in 2-3days, but they never "guarantee" it will, so you can't get $ back if usps fails. thus, priority mail is just regular mail, more expensive.
so consider this a psa: if you can't afford express mail, fuck priority and just pay for regular first-class, because usps priority mail doesn't really exist, and isn't really a priority, in spite of your paying an extra $4 for those ugly stickers.
walk good.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't you just hate the fine print!?!?!
i'm so glad its all okay

9:57 am  
Anonymous POed about the PO said...

You rally want to be entertained? Call the USPS 800 number and ask them to expain what the service actually was that you paid for that they call "priority mail"

In short, not a bloody thing.

1:16 pm  

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