revelation sparked

he turns to sit. you realise the last time another person shared your space was the last time he poured his 6feet of cool+deadly into the embrace of the selfsame chair now a week later still holding his imprint+scent just as he leave it, patiently awaiting the return of his weight, his lean, his rock back, his dreadlocks slung over its arched back...
you only now notice how antisocial you let yourself become; he is 1 of only 2visitors encouraged, for months now, him weekly, your girl for a few hours every so often; you enjoy every moment with each of them but harbour no desire for others, no need for company, no intruders allowed.
consider your time, days, nights, seconds, hours...if not for regular classes they would be the only 2 you ever see; 15-20people a few times a week allows you to feel like you socialise, but as the facade slip you see clearly how you isolate yourself. and that you don't care.
wonder if is a bad thing. wonder why you doh feel ahow. wonder if you should...
try to distract yourself from difficult questions by wondering instead if your consistently letting him in more than you expect means anything, if his years of unfailing reappearances do, reconsider briefly the reasons for taking things no further until you realise your thoughts tending toward the complicated again and stop yourself.
you rock back and take him in, remembering to enjoy him now...
walk good.