crazy shit

catching up on the world in between catching up on work, i found out that a surgeon claims to have removed a 5cm fir tree growing in a man's lung that they thought was a tumor when his complaint of coughing blood led to an xray (jury's still out on the possibility of a tree growing inside a lung devoid of sunlight, etc.)
plus:
Paid to do it, but fails to make his friend’s wife pregnant after 72 attempts
In Stuttgart, Germany, a court judge must decide on a case of honorable intentions in a situation where a man hired his neighbor to get his wife pregnant.
It seems that Demetrius Soupolos, 29, and his former beauty queen wife, Traute, wanted a child badly, but Demetrius was told by a doctor that he was sterile.
So, Soupolos, after calming his wife’s protests, hired his neighbor, Frank Maus, 34, to impregnate her. Since Maus was already married and the father of two children, plus looked very much like Soupolos to boot, the plan seemed good.
Soupolos paid Maus $2,500 for the job and for three evenings a week for the next six months, Maus tried desperately, a total of 72 different times, to impregnate Traute.
When his own wife objected, he explained, “I don’t like this any more than you. I’m simply doing it for the money. Try and understand.”
When Traute failed to get pregnant after six months, however, Soupolos was not understanding and insisted that Maus have a medical examination, which he did.
The doctor’s announcement that Maus was also sterile shocked everyone except his wife, who was forced to confess that Maus was not the real father of their two children.
Now Soupolos is suing Maus for breach of contract in an effort to get his money back, but Maus refuses to give it up because he said he did not guarantee conception, but only that he would give an honest effort.

at least things didn't get boring while i was too busy to pay attention...walk good.

interim

it's been a crazy stretch of simultaneous family and personal and work crises so i never got to carnival posting, but finally working on it now. in the meanwhile, as a show of good faith that i will post again, some more humour from my mother:
one year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a christmas gift. the next year, he didn't buy her a gift. when she asked him why, he replied, "well, you still haven't used the gift i bought you last year!" and that's how the fight started...
a woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror, unhappy with what she sees and says to her husband, "i feel horrible; i look old, fat and ugly. i really need you to pay me a compliment." the husband replies, "your eyesight's damn near perfect." and that's how the fight started...
my wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. she said, "i want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds." i bought her a scale. and that's how the fight started...
i asked my wife, "where do you want to go for our anniversary?" it warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "somewhere i haven't been in a long time!" she said. so i suggested, "how about the kitchen?" and that's when the fight started...
my wife and i are watching who wants to be a millionaire while we were in bed. i turn to her and say, "do you want to have sex?" "no," she answered. i then said, "is that your final answer?" she didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "yes." so i said, "then i'd like to phone a friend." and that's when the fight started...
i tried to talk my wife into buying a case of miller light for $14.95. instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. i told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. and that's when the fight started...
i took my wife to a restaurant. the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "i'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." he said, "aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "nah, she can order for herself." and that's when the fight started...

walk good.
ps: sidebar's fun, too...