Monday, July 31, 2006

sorry: another super-speedy fff

so this was the closing weekend of caribeana imperia, and i'm @ the radio station as of 9am today, post-5am-airport-run with the canals ("5-5-5 in the mornin", jouvay warriors) so this fff has suffered even more than the last few; but i couldn't let myself slide...
regular posting should resume shortly, and in the meanwhile, we can thank jj for what little i've managed in the past month.
here's my latest fff attempt, with my promise that my fff's will improve as my posting frequency should:

I had never seen one before except on television...but i'd known to myself for as long as i could remember that they existed. i always knew that one day i'd be able to explore the space-time continuum as i wanted.
the naysayers were about to be proven wrong- i just needed to figure out whether it would take me where i wanted, or if i'd have to take what i got with regard to destination...but even that, i didn't care too much about. any wormhole's a good wormhole. any place it spat me out would be somewhere and sometime other than here+now, which was the point...right?
perhaps i was a little more scared than i anticipated.
could i possibly be faltering now, after years of working toward the materialisation of this moment's torn fabric? i stared at the shimmering air- it looked like the heat waves that rippled the air above the highways on hot days, but deeper. this shimmer had body; it contained another dimension, and all i had to do was step in.
i kept staring at it, willing myself to walk over, and in.
what was keeping me here? no family, few friends, not even co-workers existed in this life of boundless discovery i'd created for myself- it was hard to find people who wanted to work on this project indefinitely, especially when i could only pay them in hope.
my wormhole beckoned, as much as a pool of wavering atmosphere could. i stepped closer, and it was the stickiest move i'd ever made. i suddenly wasn't sure if my body+mind could handle any further motion toward the great unknown.
but i tried again. i mentally pushed my left foot along the floor- i couldn't lift a digit right then, my heart was racing too fast for that kind of control- and found it wouldn't go. the command was sent, the signal went from brain to foot, but the foot refused- sometimes lesser parts of the whole seem to instinctively know what's best, and sometimes it's best to listen.
but i kept trying. this was the opportunity of a lifetime- or several, depending on what travels the wormhole could provide- so i needed to get those feet moving while the window was still open...
as i tried to drag my fearful, reluctant, traitorous body to the destiny my mind had called forth, the shimmer became more of a quiver. the quiver became a tremble, the tremble became a quake, and the whole room was suddenly shaking. i steadied myself against the edge of the counter, hoping nothing dangerous was happening- after all, a wormhole wasn't something my reality was accustomed to, so who could say what the effects might be?
i clutched my pencil and hastily scratched notes of the genesis of this miracle, and wondered whether this proved or disproved god.
i finally managed to bring myself closer, but that might have been the pull of the opening more than my own volition. i got close enough to see the swirling dark and light, and feel the magnetism of the chasm, and just as i was finally ready to take my notes, my pencil, and myself into another world, with a final shudder, the wormhole sucked itself shut, leaving me standing there with nothing but regret and a few pieces of paper scrawled over with now-meaningless symbols.

walk good.

3 Comments:

Blogger JJ said...

Cool, it's like waking from a dream in which you discovered the secret to life, the universe, and everything and quickly scratch it down on the notepad by your bed. Then, then next morning you see it's just a bunch of useless squiggles.

2:02 pm  
Blogger sweet trini said...

or the number 42...

2:22 pm  
Blogger Writeprocrastinator said...

I second what JJ said. I've had dreams where all was revealed, only to wake up with garbage because I only understood the context in the dream.

What if the scribblings landed in another dimension?

"Look at these runes, they fell from the sky!"

BTW, Thanks for all the fish.

12:00 am  

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