slightly sloppy fff, sorry...

so i admit this is rushed, due to the gremlin being in town (the universe does, after all, revolve around her) and a computer malfunction that prohibited my typing for the 1st half of the 1 hour i had available to work on this piece.
but since jj, our friendly neighbourhood purgatorian took the time to set it up, i must comply, in any small way that i can:

I think it was his/her photograph that made me... jump back, more so than the person him/herself holding it. i mean, in said photograph, he/she hadn’t shaved, but was wearing a push-up bra, in spite of needing the razor more than the pushing up. actually, he/she was well-enough endowed up top that women were looking over enviously, so i could only hope there was a comparably-sized endowment below.
i suppose i shouldn’ta been taken aback though, seeing as i knew i’d placed the ad and shoulda been prepared for anything to come through that door. not that "brandi alexander" was by any means a poor candidate. i guess i just expected a bigger turnout. i mean, where were all the people straddling the divide without surgery when you needed them? surely i was a better cause than jerry springer – and even if not, i’d pay better and be more fun for all involved.
i pushed brandi’s picture away and surveyed him/her appreciatively. like i said – not a poor candidate at all. even my type – tall, strong-looking but curvy, not too much makeup…
i suppose an orgy didn’t have to be the order of the day. i could definitely, happily settle for just brandi, once i made it clear that the photo was unnecessary since this was not an audition, but it would still be well worth his/her time. so i leaned in and whispered in his/her ear that perhaps we should take this up to my room and sort out the details.
brandi looked a little put off, but slowly agreed, and after looking around to make sure nobody saw him/her leave with me, we went up.
once there, i suggested we get comfortable, but brandi looked more and more uneasy.
he/she was asking persistently what this was all about, since it was clearly not the audition i’d advertised it as.
i wasn’t quite sure how to broach my intent, but i managed to spit it out, as genteely as possible, while placing the cash on the table where it could be seen, just to demonstrate my ability to make good on my promise.
there was a moment of silence while it all sank in, but i expected that. i mean, it’s not every day some guy asks you for sexual favours specifically because of your genital ambiguity – at least, not for most people – but what i didn’t expect was the cold metal click around the wrist of the hand i’d softly placed on his/her knee, and the armed officers busting in the door…

walk good.