baby blues
no, i am most definitely not pregnant! (and big-up my shakespeare cast for helping me stay that way with the birth-control-reminders)
after my earlier admission about newborns making me squeamish, i realised that the funny thing about my shakespeare gig is: the more i work with young people, the more i love it and wanna continue being a positive influence and continue working with them, but the less i want any of my own...especially teenage girls (having recently been one myself, i know they're the devil and refuse to have any of that teenage-girl-bullshit in my house).
add that to the fact that the more i'm married, the less i want children (i'm enjoying him way too much to share with someone as demanding as a child, and i wouldn't wanna be a bad parent) and it all makes me think i have to come up with very expensive and entertaining make-up-gifts to placate all the would-be-grandparents...my father calls me (overseas) @ 6am to ask about his prospects...
i feel less prepared for the responsibility of children than i did when i got married, and as i think i've mentioned, the plants have died- except the aloe, but since aloe vera is cactus-related i don't think i can really take too much credit for its continued flourishing.
but when i tell grims all this and he says, "we could adopt", that sounds fine to me. that's part of the whole 'wanting to be a good force in the universe for young people' and i get that about myself, but don't get why or how i could be still interested in adoption as i move further away from the idea of having children at all...
oh well.
walk good.
posted by sweet trini @ 1:31 am
2 comments
2 Comments:
i understand how you feel about not wanting to share. I felt the same way initially. I felt that a baby would only spoil the good thing that we have. I agree that it is strange that you could conceive of adopting but of not having your own. The responsibility of training the child to be a good,responsible, enjoyable person would still fall on you. The child would still be a teenager with all the drama it brings.YOur genes are fine. Fear not.
this is your sister...other than eric and our parents i AM the most iimportant person in your life...and so that means that your parents and i want you to give us grandkids and neices AND nephews- majority rules!! so therefore i think that you should give in and discard the notion of you not having the ability to be a good parent, because i think you would be just fine, hey look you had me to practice on and i dont hate you!! bless the bartels with babies (you know my prospects of having babies is not very good @ this moment)...i dont think that adoption is a bad idea, but i agree with scrawn you goin to still have to deal with all the dramas of teenagedom, and dont forget the teribble 2's, 3's and well their life, cause we still give karen headaches @ our age- though she gives us more. but if you adopt then you leave it all up to me to carry on the bartels bottom, that so many people appreciate, and you definitely got the bigger blessing ... so sis!!! what can i say, i want my neices and nephews so that i can shop for them, and they could spend as much time with me as you want,however you choose to achieve this i will love them more than i love you, no matter what...but you and eric have no other choice really, or i will join fred in calling @ 6am - EVERYDAY!! so get cracking!!! big love, walk good
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