Monday, June 06, 2011

get by with a little help...

recent tragic events make me reevaluate who my true friends are. i usually say i have very good judgement of character when it comes to choosing friends. is why i rarely break up with friends or lock off people who previously claimed importance in my life, is why all my exes are still pardners except for the 1 who turned out to be a pathological liar (and he was never actually my man, someting i thank aforementioned good judgement for), why i still/always have the same friends except for a (very)few happy additions over the las' 15years.
since grims, i find my judgement not quite as good, or at least, not as good at determining who has the strength to remain and retain the self i was drawn to, under pressure. and i say that in an effort to give the benefit of the doubt; i'd like to believe that without external pressures and/or the ones they create for themselves all by themselves, such offenders could continue being the person i fell for. i wish it weren't true, but it seems that too many men cyah manage their shit, while general society accuses women of being the crazy ones. too many cyah deal with the fucked-up situations they themselves create, even while being warned the entire time of wha' they doing.
so i done. i safe- i have a few very good people i been with for years, and literally 3 additions in the last 3years who done prove themselves, and i good dey. i have plenty. i very fortunate, and need no more, because allyuh's jes bring drama while denying doing it, then run away from the mess you make with that shit, jes like grims, and i not fucking having it. so thank you, but applications are closed off, and i'll stick with the good peoples i already lucky enough to have in my life. and in each aforementioned category, i know you know who you are, so thank you, where applicable, and i done, where applicable...
walk good.


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