Saturday, July 08, 2006

what a time

so the trini posse reach, and i have no time for blogging between the wuk and the limin' (doh feel shame, trini dictionary, sidebar). but this is an experience not to be missed, so i trying to make time to say something about everything happening around me right now.
3canal flew in from trini about 2 weeks ago (just in time for some limin in between d.c. carnival fetes- between them and machel, it was a weekend and a half- and you wanna check out the music @ those links) so is dionne in the guest room, jeff (grims' boy, who, for all interested parties, is that "younger brother") on the couch, plus the canals, dave (choreographer), michael (actor), and robbie styles (music+remix master) liming by us on a regular and world cup to keep us bawling- everything is everything.
but at the same time, some shit has hit the fan in a way that seriously fuckin' with my vibes- is like making magic in the kitchen while the drain backing up stink in the bathroom.
maybe that was a poor analogy, but you get my point- working on something exciting (and exhausting- when it started i was still in the children's hour, so it was 2 shows) while battling to control something threatening to upset a fine balance and possibly my whole life, and not letting everybody around me see it. because, of course, is the last thing i wanna talk about when there's so much else to thrill me. but shit must be dealt with, so i can't just avoid it until the fun is over. i trying to enjoy something i been looking forward to, but waters muddy.
but what is to is, must is, so i trying to see this as just one more experience, and learn from it and get past it- but i don't know if i'll recover. it might be past the point of no return, and i just don't know yet. all i can do is give it time and hope that hurt feelings and anger dissipate, leaving no traces of resentment or lingering trust issues. i been riding this rollercoaster for over a week, and quite frankly, is more drama than i ever allow into my life so i don't even know how to handle it, it's been so long since i had to. i usually eliminate problems like this with the quickness but this time is not so simple. i have to work through this one, even if my instinct is to cut+run.
so if i seem scarce, is just busyness combined with not knowing what to say- i'm consumed right now, with one thing that excites and exhausts me too much to write about, and another thing that i don't wanna talk about.
i'll be back when i can say something, or when caribeana imperia makes its desire to be blogged about an imperative.
walk good.


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