Saturday, September 03, 2005

flash fiction friday entry

set up courtesy jj:

The most embarrassing thing... wasn't faking losing her virginity to her boyfriend of 6 years, knowing as she screamed his name in unreal ecstasy that she'd thrown it away, wasted it on a whoring bastard who didn't even allow her the respectability of being his full-time outside woman.
he didn't know the difference, believed the rumours untrue after she swore, looking deeply into his eyes, that it was just ole talk, resulting from the jealousy so many harboured against their long-term, loving relationship.
the most embarrassing thing was the ruin of the we-finally-did-it story she'd always imagined sharing with her girlfriends. they'd heard and knew there was no reason to doubt: the first-time, main event had already happened in the bathroom of a club that people joked had a floor so sticky you couldn't moonwalk on it, her ass uncomfortably pressed against the edge of the urinal and one of his boys taking advantage of their location just 3 drains away, while his eternally horned child-mother tapped her foot anxiously, arms crossed impatiently across her still-lactating breasts at the bar, wondering if he was fucking some ho right then, embarrassing her once again.

walk good.
ps: each flash fiction friday is set up by this guy and discovered via this other blog. this is fff#6.


Blogger Spinning Girl said...

great story.

11:40 pm  
Blogger The real me said...

Umm... it's kind of hard to find the point in there. Idea good. Construction, not so much.

Keep trying though.

11:45 pm  
Blogger Finderz said...

If this were tightened up a bit, less like ramblings of the brain, it might not be bad.

peace out.

9:56 am  
Blogger Melody said...

I read it through a couple of times and I'm still not sure I understand what happens. She gets fucked by her boyfriend in the bathroom while his wife is out in the bar, and his kid is watching? Dunno.

12:30 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home